Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
