Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
