would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
