Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
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I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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