I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
of course. lets lasso hookers.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
