do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
