she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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