But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
