Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
