Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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