Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
