dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize