He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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