Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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