you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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