i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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