i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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