Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
