you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
