yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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