Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
