All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
