why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
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Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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