That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Randomize
