I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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