I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize