In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
