I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
