Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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