got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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