Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
