Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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