if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I believe in your delicious
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize