I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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