You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
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I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
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The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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