i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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