Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
