Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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