Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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