dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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