...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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