We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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