I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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