Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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