I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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