Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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