I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
