SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
