I'm eating all of the evidence.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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