i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
