i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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