Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
