I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
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You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There are leaves in my underwear?
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