I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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