I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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