The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize