I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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