Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

She said she didn't have time to shave "there"

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.

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(817): View more from Texas

My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.

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(716): View more from New York

Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

Fav 16 1762 3948
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(850): View more from Florida

it's great music for shaving your balls

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(850): View more from Florida

Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.

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(512): View more from Texas

He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered

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(308): View more from Nebraska

You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?

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