I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize