Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
