did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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