She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize