i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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