The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
