Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
