I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
