Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
