remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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